What are your expectations of your child?
He should do his homework.
He should listen when I talk to him.
He should be able to make friends at school.
He should not lie.
He should not get sent to the principal for his behavior.
He should clean his room when I ask.
He should not fight with his brother.
He should not spend too much time on video games.
It's totally fine to have expectations. And when those expectations aren't met, it's appropriate to have a consequence.
But when your child does not live up to your expectations, are you allowing his behavior to control how you feel? Are you waiting until the homework is done, the fighting has stopped or the room to be clean before you feel better?
If so, you are handing your emotional power to your ADHD kid. Is that who you want in charge of your emotional life?
I didn't think so.
The truth is, most of us have a hard enough time managing and controlling ourselves. Expecting your child to behave a certain way so that you can feel better really isn't fair or realistic.
Instead of trying to control your child's behavior so that you can feel happy, focus on your own behavior. Decide how you want to show up as a Mom, no matter how your child behaves.
When you learn to separate their behavior from your own emotional well being, you will have so much more power over your own life.
Learning how to do this on your own is possible, but not easy. If you need more help, click here for a free mini session.
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