When you are unhappy with something, what do you do?
Do you try and change things so you can feel better?
Many of us do.
When my house is dirty, I feel better after I clean it.
But it isn't the dirty house or the clean house that causes my feelings. It's my thoughts about it that determine how I feel. When the house is clean, it's easier to think that I'm in control of things. That I'm organized and on the ball.
It's true that some circumstances make it easier to have uplifting thoughts. If your circumstance is easy to change, go ahead and do that.
But what about when it's not easy to change? What if you are feeling unhappy with your marriage? What if your kid is hyperactive and loud ALL THE TIME? What if your kids are constantly fighting? What if you don't like your neighborhood? What if you can't stand your job?
These circumstances are either difficult or impossible to change. We are tempted to think, "If I only married someone else. If my husband would only notice me more. If I could get my kid to behave and stop fighting his siblings. If I could just move to a new area of town or to a new house, if I could find a better job . . . I would be happier."
Divorce, trying to change or control people, moving or changing jobs are exhausting ways to try and find happiness. The problem is that after all these changes, you are still left with you.
If you haven't done the work on your own brain, changing things around you won't create lasting happiness.
One of my uncles who had been divorced and remarried once told me that the problems didn't go away with a new marriage. It was just a different set of problems.
Staying where you are and changing yourself is some of the best self development I know of. And being able to find happiness in any circumstance is FREEDOM and POWER.
Most people don't understand this or don't know how to go about it. I can teach you how for free!
Happiness is available to you RIGHT NOW.
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